"I am a people person!"

As everyone knows, I have an uncanny knowledge on anything and everything, especially the nerdy. So here I am, driving my car, listening to WEEI, when I hear the newsflash announce that Bill Parcells has made his first move as Executive Vice President of Football Operations of the Miami Dolphins and cut the head off the snake…literally. He fired the General Manager Randy Mueller and some of his peons. When I heard this I had a nerdy revelation; Bill Parcells is literally Galactus from the Marvel Comic Universe. Before I get to why this is so, I’ll give you a rundown of who Galactus is. Basically Galactus is the oldest thing in the Universe. He was so smart with technology that he was actually able to avoid being sucked up by the previous Universe’s Big Crunch and the subsequent Big Bang of the current Universe…confused yet? Well this is where the Tuna comes in, Galactus’ energy and life force was only extended by devouring worlds that could sustain life. He quite literally cleared house. Bill Parcells is going to BF (use your imagination) the whole Miami Dolphins organization; if he could fire Wayne Huizenga as owner of the team, he would and he might. The guy in the past 20+ years has gone from team to team, clearing house, setting a foundation, leaving his mark, then moving on to his next franchise where he devours the old organization and shits out a shiny Bill Parcells organization. He is the NFL’s version of the “Bob’s” in Office Space. When the Tuna walks through those doors, you may be walking out with a cardboard box full of your stuff and a swift kick in the ass. The Dolphins will be a game or two above .500 in three seasons, then it is time for the Tuna to devour his next wor-...I mean…team.

-K.O.