THE REAL #81

Randy Moss...washed up? a clubhouse cancer? no work ethic? eroding skills? pothead? just doesnt give a damn? These were the keen observations of the highly esteemed Tom Walsh and Art Shell the currently unemployed former offensive coordinator and head coach, respectively, of the (2-14) 2006 Oakland Raiders. Clearly evaluating talent was their forte. With Moss now 3 TD's shy of Jerry Rice's single season mark of 22 it appears that Walsh and Shell are victims of glaucoma. What grinds my gears most about this though is the fact that the national media was drinking the Shell kool-aid constantly hooting about what a gamble it was to pick him up. Before we even dabble into the career stat sheet of Randy Moss, lets try to evaluate risk the risk involved in this acquisition. 1) We must have given up too much to get him. This must be the case...Moss was acquired for the 4th round pick formerly known as John Bowie...a real impact player who has come in on a 2-14 team and produced immediately...by not taking an NFL snap. 2) Perhaps we paid too much to acquire Moss. Currently sans incentives Dandy Randy is pulling in an astounding $2.5 mill...approximately a $7 million paycut from what he would've made if he stayed with the Raiders... $2.5 mill will put you in the cash bracket with future hall of fame studs such as (Desi) Arnaz Battle. I'll tell ya I'd sure as hell rather Battle on my team than Moss (sadly so would Art Shell). With that in mind New England obviously overpaid... 3) If Moss starts his BS again in New England and disciplinary problems arise what on earth would the Pats do personnel-wise? Well...with the likes of Donte Stallworth, Wes Welker, Jabar Gaffney, Kelley Washington, Chad Jackson, Troy Brown, Ben Watson, Kyle Brady, and (formerly) Reche Caldwell I don't think the Pats could've managed plugging another receiver into Moss's role. No potential pro-bowlers on that list right? So when calculating risk one needs to look at potential reward. Lets take a look at Randy's career stats: In basically 7 seasons (I'm subtracting two because his career was killed in Oakland) Mr. Moss accrued 736 receptions 10,700 yards and 101 TD's. He is a 4 time pro-bowler and to conserve space please see the attached laundry list of records and career highlights. In addition to the numbers, its pretty amazing that in his rookie season on the Vikings he completely overshadowed and outperformed his teammate Cris Carter, arguably the second best receiver of all time behind Jerry Rice. He was a main contributor to (until the Patriots of '07) the most potent offense in the history of the league, the 1998 Vikings. That year the Vikes ended up 15-1 losing to the pathetic Atlanta Falcons in the NFC championship solely due one of the most notorious choke artists the league has ever seen, Gary Anderson...but thats a story for another time and place. He resurrected the career of Randall Cunningham who before backing up Brad Johnson that year had resorted to employment at a Vegas casino, and made the less than stellar young Daunte Culpepper look like an MVP (not to mention Chad Pennington at Marshall). In addition, for 7 seasons in the twin cities he posterized DB's and took over Dominique Wilkins's old title of the "human highlight reel" So lets pose the question again...why was this off-season signing such a gamble for the Patriots?....Was it because of mooning the cheeseheads at Lambeau? Threatening to "shake his dick" at NFL fans at visiting stadiums?... Or was it was it (my personal favorite) running down a meter maid with his SUV after an altercation? (If these metermaids were anything like the town of Brookline or Newton you can't blame him)...Keep talking Collinsworth, Costas, and King, you are lucky Moss didn't aim his tricked out GMC at your asses after all the garbage you said about him this year. Instead of condemning Randy perhaps we could keep an open mind and listen to his prophetic words of wisdom; the 86 listed in the Mitchell Report sure as hell should have and let the words "straight cash homie...I don't write checks" resonate in their minds. Lesson #1 taught at THEE Rand University: never leave a paper-trail unless you are pulling a Pacman Jones and makin' it rain.

Enjoy



-Wissa

PS: Dear Coach Belichick:
All I want for Christmas is a Randy Moss contract extension through 2013.
Love, All of Us at Yo...Chooch.